cancer blog
The Story So Far
From finding the first lump through diagnosis, treatment, surgery and recover – the complete story in one place.
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End of Act I
We are now twelve days since the surgery. Or, to give it its proper dramatic title: The Slicing. It’s diagnosis day. Has the op worked? Sleep the night before had been aspirational rather than actual. We were ready far too early, hovering around the house like anxious labradors. The taxi wasn’t due until 9:15. By 7:30 we were already…
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The Waiting Game
It’s been a wee while since the last entry and no, I haven’t been abducted by aliens or fallen into a medical vortex. We were away for our annual four-week pilgrimage to Gran Canaria. Sun, sea, men in far too tight shorts and tees and just enough denial to keep me functioning. It was wonderful.…
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Battle (0): Cancer (1)
It’s taken me a few days to pull myself together enough to write this one. After another three-week wait, we returned to the scene of the crime to see Dr Lump and The Oracle. I was quietly optimistic. The lump had disappeared. I felt better. Stronger. Just the ongoing dry mouth, hoarseness and extreme tiredness.…
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Let’s try Again
So it’s PET scan attempt number two. Yet another day avoiding pregnant ladies. I kept imagining what I’d say if a pregnant woman sat beside me on the train home: “I’m sorry missus, but I’m radioactive, so I’ll sit over there. It’s not because you smell.” Obligatory weigh-in: Now 6½ stone down. WOOHOO. Another half-stone…
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Constant exhaustion
I am now back at work full time. I am TRYING to stick to Lessons 24, 25 and 26, but I am slipping back into my pre-Apocalypse work brain. I need to shake myself. A few weeks ago, I had three minutes to live, and already I am awake at 3am worrying about a very…
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The Longest 48 Hours In The History Of Time
I have now read the entire Cancer Research website on failed treatment. I had trawled the Macmillan forums for other people who had failed the chemo/radio exams. I now understood immunotherapy. I had mentally prepared for: a full neck dissection; tongue removal and; voice box eviction. I had researched the workplace ill-health retirement policy and…
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The Call
Normally I keep my phone off during meetings, but I had set my iPhone to MAX volume with a siren ringtone if the NHS called. I was in the middle of a Teams call when the siren exploded. It was someone from not on the character list telling me I needed to come in this…
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The Long Long LONG wait
To be fair, to Dr Lump didn’t realise how literal I take things. She said the results normally come in about a week and that I’d get a call. Like any good project manager, I built in contingency, five days plus 20% slippage before contacting The Oracle asking for a status report. Nothing. So I…
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Back To Work
My wardrobe hadn’t been updated since pre-Covid and I had finally accepted that the “round” silhouette only really works for snowmen and circus clowns. Now, having lost 5½ stone, not a single item fits. I’ve gone from XXL (42”) to L (34”). I caught myself in a shop window and, instead of seeing a version…
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The Big Scan
Things have actually been getting better and better. I can now walk for about 45 minutes without fainting, collapsing, or needing revived with a biscuit. The New Family Doctor has declared that I can return to work on a phased return, and Occupational Health have signed me off too provided I do less work and…