My wardrobe hadn’t been updated since pre-Covid and I had finally accepted that the “round” silhouette only really works for snowmen and circus clowns. Now, having lost 5½ stone, not a single item fits. I’ve gone from XXL (42”) to L (34”). I caught myself in a shop window and, instead of seeing a version of my father, I saw someone I didn’t recognize.

The Rock has some gorgeous clothes he’d been “saving for when he lost a few pounds.” Well, guess who fits into them now? There was a beautiful suede jacket and a denim shirt I have coveted for years which now live in my side of the wardrobe. Possession is nine-tenths of the law and ten-tenths of marriage.

What nobody tells you is that your feet shrink when you lose weight. I have been a size 12 for years, but apparently I am now a size 11. The Rock gleefully tells people that I was never a size 12, just a “fat 11.” The man has no shame.

So back I went to work wearing nice chinos, smart shirt, looking sharp and absolutely LOVING the look on people’s faces when they saw the new me. The most common phrase was “WOW, you look well!” I think people were expecting the Hollywood version of a cancer survivor: gaunt, grey, haunted, with bags under the eyes and a tragic violin soundtrack following them everywhere. Instead, they got the post-breakup glow up but with chemo as the bastard ex.

I met with Big Boss Man almost immediately. He’s still in paternal mode, and I thanked him repeatedly for his support. I genuinely pray that if anyone reading this is going through something similar, your boss is at least HALF as good. I also pray that Big Boss Man never reads this because I will NEVER hear the end of it.

I did emphasise the need for flexibility. I still go to the dentist every six weeks. I have a string of appointments. And now I have a rehab fitness trainer who specialises in cardio and muscle recovery. Given my role, this hasn’t really been possible before, but if you can’t ask for what you need after having cancer, when CAN you? We agreed to a compromise to be reviewed later.

One thing Big Boss Man was right about is that I may not be able to return to my 100mph “everything completed by lunchtime” work persona. I hadn’t expected to feel so tired so quickly. I am currently doing 10am to 1pm, four days a week and building gradually. I eat lunch at 1pm and am asleep by 1:14pm. Efficiency!

A little retrospective note: it’s genuinely great to be back. Seeing my team, catching up with friends. I know around 1,000 people there and love 997 of them. I have spent a fortune on lunches and coffees, but honestly? Worth it.

LESSON 24: I never played the cancer card until negotiating work-life balance.

THE CANCER CARD IS A POWERFUL TRUMP CARD. USE IT SPARINGLY UNLESS YOU WANT PEOPLE TO PLOT YOUR ASSASSINATION.

LESSON 25: YOU WILL SEE LIFE THROUGH A DIFFERENT LENS. YOU’LL LEARN WHAT REALLY MATTERS. DON’T LOSE THAT CLARITY.

Work might be very important to me but I want more and I am determined to make that happen.

LESSON 26: YOUR BRAIN WILL FEEL READY TO CONQUER THE WORLD, BUT YOUR BODY WON’T BE MATCH YOUR GOD-LIKE PERCEPTION OF YOURSELF. DO NOT EXPECT TO INSTANTLY RETURN TO THAT PRE-THE-APOCALYPSE-DAY VERSION OF YOURSELF.