To be fair, to Dr Lump didn’t realise how literal I take things. She said the results normally come in about a week and that I’d get a call. Like any good project manager, I built in contingency, five days plus 20% slippage before contacting The Oracle asking for a status report.

Nothing. So I tried again the following week. And again a few days later, with increasing levels of panic. I cannot help myself. I have never been patient. Waiting is my kryptonite. This was eating me alive.

LESSON 27: SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO SIT AND WAIT. SORRY. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT HAVE A SANDWICH AND/OR A BISCUIT. PREFERABLY BOTH.